Lullabies - YunaYou’re my first love
I don’t care how many reasons you give me, you will always be in my heart and I will still love you.
This line in my textbook makes it almost worth the $160 I spent on it
It’s so unfair…
I don’t know how to feel right now. I feel such a mixture of sadness, anger, and feel unfair. How could you disconnect me so quick and leave me just because I made a mistake. You said to me, “Julian I’m so sorry that I made you upset. Like for real like I never want to hurt you and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Please for give me forgive me for all the stupid shit that I’ve done. I love you.” I just don’t understand, if I truly love someone and they made a big mistake I would give them a second chance because they mean a lot and I just want to know why and everything and see how we can make it better and go from there. It just makes it seem that you really don’t love me at all to drop me so quick. I know there were many times that you made me sad, didn’t pay attention to me much because you were busy and I told you I don’t know about this. But I still stuck with you because I liked you a lot and it turned into me falling hard for you. It personally takes me a while to fall in love with someone and for the first time I finally did after almost 5 months. I have to say you are the first person that I have fallen in love with and I will always care for you but I don’t think you feel the same. It just feels unfair how easily you just drop me and not want to fix things since we recently got into a relationship. People are not perfect, I’m not perfect. I don’t know if meeting me you thought I had it all and I was perfect but I really am not. I make mistakes like everyone else and from then on I learn, grow, and change. If we don’t make mistakes, how do you expect people for growing and becoming the better person they will become. I know that I am a different and better person now than 5 years ago and its because I made mistakes that helped shaped me to the person I am today and grow. I believe everyone deserves a second chance, we are all human and we sometimes make stupid mistakes. I know your hurt and afraid of being hurt but your forgetting that your hurting another person too and your not the only one. So much that it caused that other person to go see a therapist/counseling.
I was doing so well today for the first time focusing on school and moving on my life. Kept a positive attitude the whole day until I was looking in my itunes and I found and listened to the recording of you singing all of me. At that moment I crashed so hard, and memories of us back when you visited me and skyped started to torture me from the inside out again. It hurt so much, I’m ashamed that I almost did something harmful to distract the pain.
Thanks USF therapy dogs for making me feel better after a long bad week. 😁🐶 (at USF Health-University of South Florida)
Last night my classmates forced me to go out last night because they knew I was sad. But when I reached the club last night, I couldn’t contain my tears cause the song Break Free by Ariana Grande came on and it reminded me so much about you and the way you danced that other night. I miss your silly moves and the time we danced together. I just miss you so much and wish we can be together again.